Dearest Spencer
by Chimhill
Summary: Asley Davies left her family in pursuit of her dream to become the next best selling artist,but her love for Spencer never went away, that's when she wrote Spencer a letter.Will true love reveal,will these two lost souls find their way back.My first fanf.
1. Chapter 1

Dearest Spencer

I have been trying so many times to actually go through with this letter but when ever I finish drafted it I toss it into the dustbin next to my bed. It's been so many years now that I don't know if you still remember me, but here I am writing you this letter.

Firstly I want to say sorry for everything that I have put you through sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like if I never done all those things when we were still together.

I regret so many things in my life but I don't regret the time we spend together. It's like a huge part of my heart has been left behind that day, standing there seeing those tears running down your cheeks. Your watery blue eyes are still burning in my subconscious. That day it's not just your heart that broke into a million pieces, I was hurting as well.

I have been broken, I am broken.

**I don't know what I've done**

**Or if I like what I've begun**

**But something told me to run**

**And honey, you know me **

**It's all, or none**

You know that moment when you kiss someone and everything around you becomes hazy. And the only thing in focus is you and that person. And you realize that, that person is the only person that you're supposed to kiss for the rest of your life. And for one moment you get this gift. And you want to laugh and you want to cry because you feel so lucky that you found it and so scared that it will go away all at the same time.

**There were sounds in my head **

**A little voice is whispering **

**That I should go, and this should end**

**But then I found myself listening **

**Cuz I don't know who I am, who I am without you**

**All I know is that I should **

**And I don't know if I could stand,**

**Another hand upon you**

In your life you will find one person, your forever love, your forever friend. This person is your soul mate, your one true love and your best friend. The love between you will go beyond words, and be spoken deep within the eyes. This feeling, this connection, will never be broken. They will truly show you that forever means forever.

**All I know is that I should**

**Cuz she will love you more than I could**

**She who dares to stand where I stood**

**See I thought love was black and white**

**If it was wrong, or it was right**

**But you aint leaving without a fight**

**And I think I am just as torn inside **

I have spent my whole life running and running, trying to catch up with something that has never been there for me. And all I've done is go further and further away from the precious love that's been waiting for me all the time.

**Cuz I don't know who I am, who I am without you**

**All I know is that I should **

**And I don't know if I could stand,**

**Another hand upon you.**

**All I know is that I should **

**Cuz she will love you more than I could**

**She who dares to stand where I stood**

**And I won't be far from where**

**You are if you ever should call**

**You meant more to me than anyone **

**I ever loved at all**

**But you taught me how to trust myself**

Before you... my life was like a moonless night. Very dark but there were stars… points of light and reason.

**And so I say to you…**

**This is what I have to do**

**Cuz she will never love you more than I could**

**She who dares to stand where I stood**

**She who dares to stand where I stood.**

Music has become my escape. That day I chose my career over our marriage and our beautiful daughter I never forgave myself but I never regret the day she were born. Her beautiful sparkling blue eyes and curly blonde hair. She is the splitting image of you my love.

And this letter doesn't mean goodbye my love.

I am coming home. I am coming home to you and our baby girl. I don't know if you moved on by now but that song Where I Stood. I wrote that that same day, and yesterday while driving to my loft from the studio that song played on the radio. And thoughts of what happened back then and what you guys have been through the last three years. I know it hasn't been easy to raise her all by yourself. But you had Kyla, Aiden, Chelsea and Glen and of course your mom. I am sorry I never came back to the States when your father died. You won't believe how much I hated the fact that I weren't the one to comfort you. Seeing the pictures of you and Carmen together holding my baby girl, was like a rip tied sinked me in. That's when I ended up in rehab for a drug overdose, I bet you never knew this cause Kyla never mentioned it, but she found me in my loft with the needle stuck in my arm. I feel so ashamed of everything I've done and how I've handled everything. But I want us. I still love you Spencer, I never stopped wanting you or loving you.

I am on my way to L.A.

Love Ashley

The song is Where I Stood by Missy Higgins. I have always been drawn to that song.

This is my first fanfic. I am a bit afraid to send this baby for the public to view. I hope you guys enjoy reading it.


	2. Chapter 2

**This is for all you guys who reviewed on my first fanfic. This goes out to all you.**

**Hope you like it.**

**I own nothing….**

**Chapter 2: Dear Ashley**

**Spencer's POV**

She's coming home. This can't be happening not now, she left me 3 years ago. She broke my heart, not just mine but our baby girl's. Hannah has been my rock, she does not know that she has another mommy, I never told her. I mean what do you tell a 3 year old " hey sweetie mommy need to tell you something but you have another mommy, but she left us a month after you were born", how torn will that little girl be I know Ash were so happy when we found out that we going to be parents. But this letter what do I do about it. Why did Kyla, never tell me that she has seen Ashley and that she's been in rehab, drug overdose and oh my gosh Carmen.

**Gone away are the Golden days**

**They're just a page in my dairy**

**Yeah… so here I am a utopian citizen**

**I'm still convince there's no **

**Such thing as idealism…memories**

**They're following me like a shadow now and I'm**

**Dreaming …and I've already suffered the fever of disbelief.. Yeah**

What do I do? All these questions?

Carmen has been good to both Hannah and me. But the truth should come out I need to tell Hannah, and Carmen needs to know.

In all truth as I was reading her letter I couldn't help not shed tears I have read the letter over and over.

**Cause I've seen your act and I know all the facts**

**I'm still in love with who I wish you were**

**And it aint hard to see who you are underneath…**

Do I love her? Off course I do, never stopped loving her. I have tried to fall in love with Carmen but there were always that something missing.

**But I'm still in love with who I wish you were…**

**And I wish you were here… I was true as the sky was blue**

**But I couldn't soon say the same for you…no**

I open my top drawer in my office. And there underneath all the papers were a silver box with all her stuff in, marriage certificate, wedding pictures and a picture of Ashley and baby Hannah in her arms. Her beautiful brown eyes sparkling with her famous nose crinkling. She looks so happy in that candid she never knew I took this picture.

**So now I find denial in my eyes. **

**I'm mesmerized by the picture that's in my mind**

**Oh so tell me when I'll finally see your shallow**

**Heart for what it is, yeah cause I don't wana **

**Keep believing in illusion no…**

Gosh! I love her. I want her home back in our lives.

**Sometimes I can't explain it, and I'm so sorry that I can't…**

**I'll try to concentrate on your true **

**Identity.**

Well here goes.

Dear Ashley

I've wondered for the last couple of years if I will ever hear anything from you again. And yesterday I received your letter in the mail. Parts of me were shocked and surprised all at the same time. But to be honest I couldn't tear my eyes away from the words I read. I know that you regret what happened walking away to pursue your music career.

But there was never a time that I weren't proud of your accomplishments. You have done so well for yourself Ash. I have followed your career from the beginning, you might not believe me but I did.

I don't know if Kyla ever showed are send you any pictures of Hannah, but I think that you have a right to have some pictures of her. She's beautiful. I never told her about you and I am sorry. It was just best to not deal with that at the time she was growing up. She has been asking about the pictures she saw on Kyla's mantle whenever she stays with her aunt. She asked me once who the lady is standing with her arms around me I told her that were someone special.

Do you ever feel lost, because everyday since we've been apart for the last 3 years. I have felt that vital part of me that has been missing, and I tried so hard to fulfil it Ash. I tried to fill it with work and friends. That emptiness that I have been feeling since you left me standing there. I can't imagine myself growing old without my soul mate. That's who you are baby. I want you back. I want our family to reunite. The family we always wanted we can have that now. I have never thought it's possible that a love like ours could exist. It's epic. You and me, and Hannah.

Come home Ashley.

Love Spencer

The song is Wish You Were, by Kate Voegele.

And no Spencer isn't writing lyrics I just thought it would help how these two feel and lyrics always help to sway emotions of hurt are heartache.


	3. Chapter 3

**I own nothing..**

**Chapter 3: Home**

**Ashley's POV**

It's been said that a person only regret the things they had once they lost it all. I lost it all to follow in my father's footsteps, maybe I will never be just like him, but being on that stage every time made me even closer to him. Kyla never knew who our father was she only came to know him when we were 16 years old. The same day he died.

Part of me hated him for keeping something so personal from me, I never expected my mother to tell me either but at least someone could've told me I had a sister.

**Another summer day**

**Has come and gone away**

**In Paris and Rome**

**But I wanna go home**

**Uhm Home**

The one person who's been there for me through it all, the one person I promised never to hurt and the one person I knew loved me unconditional, I broke her. Spencer. Just the feel of her name rolling of my tongue feel so good.

**May be surrounded by**

**A million people I **

**Still feel all alone**

**Just wanna go Home**

I know I messed up big time. Okay maybe I weren't ready to be a mother and a wife at 23 years old, but there was never a day that I didn't miss my favourite two blondes.

Part of me thinks that Spencer could've told Hannah who I was. But I guess she had her reasons. Hannah Davies sounds so good. I can't wait to meet her to hold her, I am so glad that Spencer wants me back. That she still loves me after all this time.

**I miss you, you know**

**And I've been keeping all the **

**Letters**

**That I wrote to you,**

**Each one line or two **

**I'm fine baby, how are you?**

She send me the picture with me holding baby Hannah, I think she were a few days old, I was so afraid that I might break her.

But Kyla sent me every chance she gets pictures of my little girl.

**I would send them but I know **

**That it's just not enough**

**My words were cold and flat**

**And you deserve more than that**

**Another aeroplane, another sunny place**

**I'm lucky I know**

Sometimes I think that they might be better of without me, I had a messed up childhood. Both my parents were hardly around to just be with me. When Spencer's mom found us that night in her room, and pulling me out by my hair. The following day we ran away with help from our good friend Aiden, who's currently engaged with my little sis. If that were my mother she would jump in the air to get rid of me.

**But I wanna go Home**

**I got to go Home**

**Let me go Home**

**I'm just too far from where you are**

Sometimes when you care about someone a lot you just know you will make some kind of mistake and you end up losing the person you care about but if you lucky you might get a second chance.

**I wanna come Home**

**And I feel just like I'm living **

**Someone else's life**

**It's like I just stepped outside**

**When everything was going right**

I've been packing my stuff for the last week. I still need to get a place in L.A. I don't think it would be appropriate for me to move in with her and Hannah.

**And I know just why you could **

**Not come along with me **

**This was not your dream**

**But you always believed in me**

**Another winter day**

**Has come and gone away**

**In either Paris or Rome**

**And I wanna go Home**

**And I'm surrounded by **

**A million people I**

**Still feel alone**

**Let me go Home**

I feel my cell phone vibrating inside my front jean pocket. I check the caller I.D. and smiling while I answered it.

"Hello. Can't wait to see me can you."

"Not really. I've been waiting for this day for 3 years."

"Yeah. I know what you mean. I miss you just as much as I miss driving my baby," I replied.

"So I guess no one but me know you planning on coming home tomorrow."

"Yep? Who's picking me up at the airport", I replied.

"I am."

"Did you speak to her?"

"Nah. But Hannah was here. She sleeps over once every second weekend."

"I can't wait to meet her. I was such an idiot."

"I know." I hear her chuckling in the phone.

"Hey…I am still your big sister. I can still kick your ass. And don't rub your mannerism of my daughter." I had a huge smile on my face; it felt so good to say my daughter. Part of me are scared what to expect from all this. Right now Hannah doesn't know me.

"Ash." I hear Kyla whisper my name so softly.

"Yeah."

"She told her. After the letter. And after her reply to your letter she told Hannah, who you are, she knows we sisters but now she knows I'm her aunt by name and not just a friend of her mother. She still don't understand but Spencer is doing the best she can right now." Oh my poor girl. This would be confusing to me as well.

"Carmen."

"I don't know Ash. I don't know just come home please."

"Tomorrow Ky, I am not superwomen you know," I hear the laughter of my sister echo through the phone.

We said our goodbyes. I through the phone on my bed and got back to my packing tomorrow will be the day that holds so many questions. Will the love of my life be waiting for me and will we get our happily ever after.

**I miss you, you know**

**Let me go Home**

**I've had my run**

**Baby I'm done**

**I gotta go Home**

**It'll all be alright**

**I'll be Home tonight**

**I'm coming back Home."**

**The song is Home by Michael Buble.**

**Thank you to those who reviewed. Just bare with me and hopefully I will know what's next to come with Spashley's big reunion.**

**Any Ideas are welcome.**


	4. Chapter 4

**I own nothing…but the storyline**

**Chapter 4: Goodbye To You**

**Spencer's POV**

**Of all the things I've believed in**

**I just want to get it over with**

**Tears form behind my eyes**

**But I do not cry**

**Counting the days that pass me by**

I can smell her on the pillow. If I close my eyes I can see her lying next to me with her arms around my waist. It felt good being in her arms, feeling protected from the person who loves you. Even though we were together for all this time I weren't in love with her, but I loved her enough to be with her in a relationship. But there was always someone else. She knew this when we first started out. I was just in that place where I wasn't able to give someone else all of me. But she loved my little girl. I remember when Hannah were 18 months old Kyla and I were busy chatting away while Carmen were feeding her, she called Carm, "Momma', both me and Kyla were staring at each other and the expression on Carmen's face were priceless. You could see that those two got along well. If there were no Ashley in the world she would've been the perfect wife and mother, but my heart was always with Ashley.

**I've been searching deep down in my soul**

**Words that I'm hearing**

**Are staring to get old**

**It feels like I'm starting all over again**

**The last three years were just pretend**

**And I said**

**Goodbye To You**

**Goodbye to everything I thought I knew**

**You were the one I loved**

**The one thing that I tried to hold on to**

We used to fight all the time because she would catch me watching interviews and buying all Ashley's cd's. She would accuse me of cheating on her emotionally.

**I still get lost in your eyes**

**And it seems that I can't live a day **

**Without you**

**Closing my eyes and you chase my **

**Thoughts away**

**To a place where**

**I am blinded by the light**

**But it's not right**

**Goodbye to you**

**Goodbye to everything I thought I knew **

**You were the one I loved **

**The one thing I tried to hold on to**

**And it hurts to want everything and**

**Nothing at the same time**

**I want what's yours **

**And what's mine**

**I want you **

**But I'm not giving in this time**

**Goodbye to you**

**Goodbye to everything I thought I knew**

**You were the one I loved **

**The one thing I tried to hold on to **

**The one thing I tried to hold on to**

**And when the stars fall**

**I will lie awake**

**You're my shooting star.**

I pull her pillow close to me and snuggle into it. I whisper her name so softly before snuggling my face deeper in the pillow.

I could hear her voice breaking, asking me not to do this. My mind wonders back to what happened two days ago.

_FLASHBACK:_

_I enter the studio seeing her in her artsy vibe. I stand against the doorway with my body leaning against it without her noticing me._

_I see her head turn around as our eyes locked, blue meeting grey. Her eyes have this twinkle and her mouth turns into a smile as she approach me._

_She walks towards me, and kiss me on the forehead. Then gently pulls me into her, as I hold tight to her as if it's our last time we'll get to be like this._

"_Why do I feel like this is goodbye," she asked me._

_I look down to the floor as she takes her fingers and lifts up my chin, as our eyes meet once again._

"_I don't know," I replied._

_I could feel the tears burning in my eyes as I cannot stand the look she's giving me. How do you tell someone you care about, you about to break their heart._

"_What do you mean?" she asked._

"_There's something I need to tell you." We were still in each others arms. As we standing there not knowing what the outcome will be._

"_Is it about that letter I found in your dresser", she didn't look angry, she looked hurt. Which I could understand. I kept the letter from her, not telling her about Ashley and the letter I wrote back._

"_Part of it yes, seeing as you read it yourself."_

"_Why? Spence. She broke your heart." I couldn't bare looking at her. She's a mess, her mascara running down her face, as I was trying to wipe it away she pulls my hand away from her face and steps out of my arms that was still holding on to her hips._

_She walks to the other side of her studio, throwing everything on her desk off. I jump at the sound of a crash to the floor, as water and paint brushes flying around. I never saw her like this._

"_I love her Carmen. I'm sorry; it's just something I can never turn my back away from. We have a child together."_

"_She wants to come back when it's convenient for her. Open your eyes Spence, she's the same spoiled brat who left you with a baby," she shouts. She paced up and down and I can only stand still in my current spot._

"_I know she made mistakes. Sometimes when you care about someone a lot you just know you will make some kind of mistake and end up losing that person, but who am I to condemn her or you for that matter. She paid for her mistakes." I sigh out of breathe, tears keep falling from both our eyes._

"_Gosh?"_

_She went to sit on the couch on the left side of her spacious studio. I want to go to her. Hug her, comfort her but I know she will just push me away. "I love you so much Spencer. You and Hannah," she cries into her hands._

_I can't bare to see her like this and took a risk by holding her, she cries into my chest as my t-shirt gets wet with her tears._

"_She loves you too, Carmen. Don't ever forget that."_

_She lifts her head from my chest and stares at me as she cups my cheeks with both her hands, wiping the tears with her thumb as tears fall down my cheeks._

"_What's the point of love and all of this if I'm numb?" pointing her fingers to the paintings that surround us with me on every canvas. _

"_I can't be without you. I love you." The words came out as a whisper._

"_You meant for better, Carmen. There's someone special out there for you." I replied._

"_Come here. Listen to me. I need you to get past this." I said._

"_No!" she shouts._

"_I need you to forget about me and move on, okay. You to amazing to carry this around. I care about you a lot."_

_She throws her arms around my neck and I could feel her body shaking into me._

"_I have to go."_

"_Spence No!'_

_We pull away but not too far as our faces or inches apart, I could feel her breathe on my lips as it finally touches. We shared one last kiss, a kiss that meant so much to her, and a kiss that ends us. She slowly lets go as our foreheads or touching while we both look into each others eyes. I can feel her arms loosening around my neck as I let go of her waist._

_I turn around as her hands slowly slides down my arms to my fingers interlacing it together as finally just our fingertips are touching, almost like she doesn't want to let go._

"_Carmen." Hearing my voice she turns around. "Thank you." I say it so soft I could barely hear myself._

"_You know I could have held you in my arms forever. It still wouldn't have been long enough," she says falling to the floor on her knees. Even with the tears and her voice barely a whisper, I couldn't help but wanting to pick her up and tell her it's okay. But I know that this is what's best for both us. I turn around and walk out of her studio, and out of her life for good._

_My life is with Ashley and the new journey we will be embarking with our daughter._

_Goodbye Carmen._

_END OF FLASHBACK_

I woke up seeing a blonde haired girl jumping on my bed. Its times like this that I embrace the most seeing my little girl happy not knowing what's been going on in the adults life around her.

I still need to talk to Hannah about Carmen being gone and about Ashley coming home. Ashley Davies, the mother of my child the love of my life. Can we really go back to the way things were? I know there's still a lot to talk about like why she left without me and Hannah? Why didn't she tell me about the drugs?

Like I said before so many questions and hopefully it will all get straighten out.

"Mommy. You wake." She smiles at me.

"Yeah, baby I am a wake." I get ready to get up as I hover over my little girl and start our daily tickling fight, she always win cos I want my girl to be happy.

"Mommy, where are Carmen. She promised me the zoo," she looks at me with those familiar blue eyes that are staring back at me with seriousness in her eyes.

"Mommy will take you. Carmen is gone baby."

"Why? Doesn't she like us anymore." I see her eyes tearing up as I pull her on to my lap and rubbing her back, soothing her and telling her that Carmen loves us very much, that she will see her one day, not just right now.

**next chapter will go on where I left of on chapter 4. before Ashley comes back.**

**Hope you enjoy this chapter. **

**Please review.**

**Song is Goodbye To You by Michelle Branch.**

**I made some reference to Jeyton. I loved what he said to Peyton at the end of season 2. that quote were my all time fave.**


	5. Author's Note

**Author Note:**

**Hi their guys I know you all are waiting to find out what's going **

**To happen next after Carmen and Spencer's broken up.**

**And the reunion of Spashley.**

**Unfortunately I have a problem with my hands and**

**I wont be able to type for a while.**

**I got something name carpal tunnel syndrome.**

**Hopefully it will get better in a few days. **

**I am really happy that my story got such good reviews**

**I will try to update by next week.**

**Thank you all.**

**chimhill**


	6. Chapter 6

**I own nothing…**

**This is the follow up from chapter 4. The previous chapter (flashback were 2 days before and the present day will continue in this chapter. Kyla don't know about Carmen being gone, and the phone call between Ash & Kyla took place after Spencer told Hannah). It may sound confusing just trying to get the timeline right.**

**It's a Big One for you.**

**Chapter 4:1: Hannah's Got another Mommy**

**Spencer's POV**

_**Our lives are defined by the choices we make.**_

It took me quite sometime to calm the little blonde girl. She loved Carmen so much; I can only imagine how she is doing, she moved out before Hannah returned from spending her ritual Saturday sleepover with her aunt. Kyla has been really good to both Hannah and me since Ashley has left us 3 years ago. It's not like we struggled with me being a documentary director, but Kyla told me once that Ashley has started a trust fund for Hannah when she got her first big break. Even though their father were a rock star the two Davies sisters has never thought of themselves to be better then the next person. Even though Ash could be cocky sometimes she really had a good heart. But she just has this fear of being a provider, taking care of a baby and having a wife at a young age. I felt the same I was scared too, but I didn't run away.

Then I met Carmen. I met her while doing a local documentary on freelance artist and to tell you the truth there were an instant pull. We met a week after that at a coffee shop, and not long after that we starting seeing more and more of each other and having Chelsea as my sister in law and also a talented artist herself, gave me the info I needed to know what Carmen were talking about and from there we hit it off. But through all the years I have never been in love with her. Now here I am about to tell my daughter that she has another mother.

And that I kept the truth from her to protect her. The minute the media would've known Ashley had a child she abandoned when she were a baby, how bad would she have looked in the public. It may come out as I am defending her, maybe a part of me does.

"Mommy," she looks up to me as I am pouring the milk over her froot loops. This is the only cereal she will eat. Carmen could never say no to her. Did I do the right thing; I can still see her falling to her knees as I left the studio.

I watch her pick up the spoon and bringing a spoonful of froot loops to her small mouth.

"Yeah. Don't speak with a mouthful baby. Remember we talked about that.'

She nods her head and goes back to eating her breakfast, while making yummy sounds. And pulling her face making funny faces as I laugh at her.

She is so cute when she pulls her face into a pout.

"Honey, why you pouting." I ask her.

"But why did she have to go now." She asked me pouting. I knew this was going to be hard on the little girl, for the last 2 and half years, Carmen has been in her life and now she's not.

"I told you that she had to leave, because of work, honey." I hate to lie at her. Do I just go ahead and tell her what really is going on.

"_You have to tell her Spence. She has to know what is going on. You don't want Ash to show up on your doorstep and Hannah not knowing that her Momma is coming home or who Ashley is. Look at me I didn't even know that rock star Raife Davies were my Dad, until my mother told me on the day he died. Do you know what it feels like not knowing whom or where you came from? Don't let the same thing happen to Hannah."_

I though back to what Kyla told me and I don't want my daughter to hate me or to feel like I have robbed her of a mother.

I face Hannah, trying to get her attention; she lifts her head, almost like asking what's going on with me this morning.

"Hannah, mommy needs to speak to you about something. I really need you to understand what I am about to say, I know you still so young to really understand all of this." She looks at me with curious eyes.

"Yes, Mommy."

I walk around the counter letting her off the stool she was sitting on and letting her down, holding her tiny little hand and enter the living room; she drops my hand and goes to sit on the couch. I follow her and sat down beside her making her face me.

I feel like I am about to let a bomb drop on this innocent little human being. Now I hate my mother for letting me keep the truth of Ashley being Hannah's mother from her. It's two people who's about to get hurt here, not just Hannah, but Ashley as well, with her come back how exceptive of her will Hannah be and how will Ash be around Hannah. It's so confusing.

"Remember that one day when I came to pick you up at your aunt, Kyla's and you asked me who the lady was holding Mommy."

She nods her little head curls falling into her face, I brush a strained curl from her face. She smiles at me as the curls are tickling her.

"Well that lady is Ashley. Ashley Davies." I see her frowning.

"Like my last name aunty Kywa." She asks me. I nod my head yes.

"She isn't just your aunt's sister, she's also…._ say it Spence or else just wait for her to show up then let the poor girl know. You can do this. Okay here goes._

She…_come on you can do this, look at your daughter she's confuse spill._

She is …she is your other mommy." I took a deep breath, Hannah doesn't say anything back. Of course she's three and half for crying out loud. Okay I see her opening up her little mouth forming words. Stop talking to yourself and listen what she has to say.

"And Carmen wasn't she my momma." Oh Gosh! I can't do this anymore, she called Carmen momma. I see her scrunching her face, like she has no idea what's happening right now.

"No, baby. Carmen weren't your mother. Mommy were married to Ashley and we had you." I stood up and went into the kitchen and walked to the drawer and pulled out an album of me, Hannah and Ashley. I walk back into the living room and went to go sit back and open the album. "You see this is your momma, holding you when we brought you back home that day from the hospital."

She looks at the picture and then at me. Her eyes move back and forth between me and the picture while her eyes scanning carefully. Pointing her finger at Ashley.

"Where is she now? Did she also have to go like Carmen?"

What do I tell her, that she left because she wanted a career as a musician over being a mother? No, I won't tell her that. I am trying to make this whole situation go easy as possible.

"You know that cd, I listen to a lot and you said you liked that song, called **Blue Eyed Girl**." She nods her head yes.

"Well baby that is Ashley; she is a musician that's why she had to go away for awhile." She stares at me and then asked me.

"Do I get to call her Momma?" WOW. She is really making this easy as I thought it would be. She smiles at me and looked at the picture of herself and Ashley. Tracing all around Ashley's face. I guess her coming home will not be too bad.

"If you want to baby girl. It's your decision. I bet she would love to hear you call her that. She loves you that I know." I take the album from out of her lap and sat it down on the coffee table, and gather her on my lap. Laying her head on my shoulder.

"I love you Mommy." She looks up to me and tears came rolling down my face and her tiny thumbs are wiping away the tears.

"I love you too sweetheart, so very much." I give her a hug not wanting to ever let go.

"Is aunty Kywa going with to the zoo, and my new Momma?" I just laugh at her saying new momma to Ash.

How will Ashley feel about knowing that Hannah now knows about her?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Kyla's POV**

I just pulled into Spencer's driveway I see that Carmen's car is nowhere to be seen, maybe she went out. I get out of my car and walk up the length of the porch to their front door. It's been so weird seeing Carmen staying in my sister's house with Spencer and their daughter. But I got use to the fact Spencer moved on and I had to respect that. At first Spencer never knew I had been visiting my sister in Europe. Yeah she moved to a whole nother continent. I was angry at Ash for what she did to Spencer but later I stepped back and cut her out my life and helped Spencer raising my niece.

Then two years ago I went to go see Ashley, she's been asking me to come out there but I didn't wana betray my loyalty to Spence, which I know you'll think but Ash is your sister. But we weren't always close after I found her in her loft almost dead from a drug overdose I stayed with her and made her get help. I told her to do it for Hannah, if not for Spencer. She found out about Carmen. And then Arthur dying. She's not good when it comes to death, especially someone like Arthur who she says were the best father in law she'll ever have.

I knock on the door and hear small feet running to the door and her mother calling after her. This girl is too cute.

"Hannah." I hear Spencer call. But the door flings open and there stand the cutest blonde girl with her blue eyes and big smile as she jumps into my arms.

"Aunty Kywa,' she shouts.

I pick her up and walk in to the living room seeing Spencer wiping her eyes with her hands.

"Hey, Ky." She says.

I walk closer. Hannah is holding tight around my neck.

"Hey Spence. How you doing."

I put Hannah down and go over to Spencer and hug her, I know this isn't easy for her with Ash coming back tomorrow.

"I am doing well. So what do I owe this visit so early not that I don't mind you coming, you always welcome here." I can see that she is trying to hide something from me, but I know her to well to know something is up. She looks pass me and asked Hannah to go get ready for the zoo, and the little girl wants me to go with them. I said yes and she's off running up the stairs just like a good girl.

"What's wrong Spence, she's out of the room." I show her to sit down and tell me what's bothering her.

"I told Hannah this morning who Ashley is and that she's coming back. Then she asked me but Carmen is momma. I told her no she's not. Then I showed her this album of what Ashley look like." She says in one breath.

"Breath Spence. I am glad you told her. How did she take it."? I have been worried about this topic for so long. We all kept the truth from her.

"Surprisingly good. I was afraid to tell her. She asked me if she can call Ash, momma." I couldn't help but smiling my niece is finally going to have both her mothers. I have to make a mental note to call Ash.

After dropping both Carlin- Davies girls back at their house. I waited until I got home to call Ashley, to make sure she is really coming back home to the people who love her.

I dialled her number until a hear a dialling ring and hear her voice over the phone. Deep down I am excited to have my sister back home where she belongs.

I am just glad that Spencer finally told Hannah.

"Hello? Ash." I say through the phone.

"Hello? Can't wait to see me can you." I can almost hear her rolling her eyes at me.

"Not really. I've been waiting for this day for 3 years." Even though I had seen her about two years ago, I miss her being in L.A.

"Yeah. I know what you mean. I miss you just as much as I miss driving my baby," she replied. By baby she means her Porsche she left in my care but can't drive it or I'll get my ass kicked. Like she could really kick my ass. I chuckle at her reply.

"So I guess no one but me know you planning on coming home tomorrow."

I just had an epiphany. But you guys will have to wait and see.

"Yep? Who's picking me up at the airport", I replied.

"I am."

"Did you speak to her?"

"Nah. But Hannah was here. She sleeps over once every second weekend." I didn't want to tell her that I saw Spencer all teary eyes after telling Hannah about her. Hannah was here two days ago.

"I can't wait to meet her. I was such an idiot."

"I know." I chuckle in her ears knowing that she knows what an idiot she was.

"Hey…I am still your big sister. I can still kick your ass. And don't rub your mannerism of my daughter." She deadpanned.

"Ash." I whisper.

"Yeah."

"She told her. After the letter. And after her reply to your letter she told Hannah, who you are, she knows we sisters but now she knows I'm her aunt by name and not just a friend of her mother. She still doesn't understand but Spencer is doing the best she can right now." Even though Hannah seems all okay with Ash being her other mom. It must be confusing on the little girl. I will be there for all 3 of them when they need me.

"Carmen." I haven't seen her car their this morning. So I have nothing to say to Ash, where Carmen's concern. I really feel bad for her I do. We became friends but not as close, but she was good for both Spencer and Hannah.

"I don't know Ash. I don't know just come home please." I sigh.

"Tomorrow Ky, I am not superwomen you know," I laugh just thinking of her as having super powers. She'll be the coolest mom.

We chat for a little while longer as she give me the details of her flight and I also told her she can stay in the loft since I moved in with Aiden after we got engaged. And with not knowing when Ashley's coming back I kept the loft and its now standing empty waiting for its rightful owner. Minutes later we said our goodbyes and I am contemplating on how I am going to get Spashley to reunite.

Spashley. I just love both of them so much to see them miserable without each other. Spencer dating Carmen and Ash, I don't know what's going to happen.

**I believe that people who are meant to be together will find their way towards each other.**

Only time will tell, in this case in only a day.

**Hey I am back. I already had half of this chapter done before my hands started to bother me. **

**And my old time Brooke favourite quote in there.**

**Please review. **

**Two chapters left.**


	7. Chapter 7

**I own nothing ….but the story line.**

**It's almost near the end of this story I thank all of you for the reviews and I have some Ideas on a new story.**

**Chapter you've been waiting for.**

**Chapter 5: We Belong Together**

**Ashley's POV**

The day that I have been preparing myself for, for the last month after sending that letter to Spencer. Part of me is really afraid I mean in less then 18 hours I will be in America, Los Angeles. The place that holds my heart. The people I have left behind. Two blonde girls who's been in my heart and thoughts over the last three years.

I never thought that I will ever go back, but I can't live without them.

I miss my sister as well, she has been my best friend, she would always inform me on what's happening in little Hannah's life.

**We belong together **

**Like the open seas and shores**

**Wedded by the planet force**

**We've all been spoken for**

I remember when she told me Hannah were playing in a Christmas play and she was going to be the angel, I mean at two years old she was already up on the stage and being all cute. I told Kyla to video tape it for me so that I could watch my girl as she's doing her thing. Maybe she will turn out to be an actress like her aunt. Spencer's in the film business, she's definitely has popularity in her blood. I want her to be more like Spencer then me, cause then I know she will grow up being confident and not insecure like me. I could've brought them with me but I knew Spence wouldn't have. She had her parents who I know wouldn't have let me take their daughter and grand daughter away. Paula would have done something I know that women never liked me dating her daughter or even marrying her, I can only imagine what she said to Spencer after I left her with a baby.

Gosh? I was so stupid and immature to have made that decision of leaving them for a singing career. I totally have to suck up to the whole Carlin clan, accept Chelsea, she wouldn't hate me but with Paula and Glen who knows.

**The hammer may strike,**

**Be dead on the ground.**

**A net to my hand,**

**A cross on his crown.**

**We're done if, who we're undone.**

**Finished if who we are**

**Incomplete.**

I wish Mr C were still with us you know, he always believed in me. He took it upon himself to protect me against his wife. She hated me but Mr C loved me. He was the best father in law I could have asked for. Spencer was really close to him I can imagine how she felt when her Dad died.

Well Carmen was their. I couldn't hate her for moving on with her life she had the right. I was gone, we were separated.

I wanted to be the one too comfort my wife, to have held her in my arms and never let her go.

**As one we are everything,**

**We are everything we need.**

I just boarded the plane at Heathrow airport. Is sad that I have to leave London to go back to sunny California. Yeah I know you guys will think. Are you insane you prefer the cold over the warmth of L.A.?

Well know but I just fear the wrath of a certain blonde. I know she said she wants me home, that she loves me but its one thing not seeing the person who hurt you and seeing them face to face after three years.

I take the picture of me and Hannah and Spencer the day she arrived from the hospital out of my purse, I have this picture since I left home.

When ever I play that song **BLUE EYED GIRL, **I should've called it Blue Eyed Girls, cause that song I wrote for them, at every concert I get high praises for that exact song. The album were titled **BLUE**, you probably get why it's called that. It was my very first single that came out just a month after I left L.A.

She told me in her letter she is proud of me. I was happy to know that. What are we going to do when we see each other? Will she smack me; throw the door in my face. I will definitely get the cold glare be haps, and Carmen will she be their when I come over to go see my Daughter. She better not stand in my way getting to know my girl.

The flight attendant came by an I ordered a jack and lime I need all the help I can to get the strength to face my past.

I just hope Kyla will not make me wait forever like she always does. That woman really needs to get some speed in her. I bet her fiancé is taking all of that. EW, did I just say that about my sister and ex boyfriend. Wow Ash you creeper.

I haven't dated anyone since I left; people thought I was some weirdo, not wanting to get laid. Tsk I had a few encounters but that was just that one night stands , none of them compare to a blue eyed blonde who stole my heart the first time we had cross paths at my locker so many years ago. I had rules with my encounters no one kisses me and touch me only I get to do the touching. But their was one girl who I had spent time with she reminded me of Spencer, but she wasn't she asked to much of me, wanting me to stop thinking about Spencer that she can love me in ways Spencer can't. As if the poor girl got smacked right through the face. I was high and drunk can't blame me, she should never talk bad about my wife. I never told anyone I was married and had a kid. The media would have loved that wouldn't they. I never heard any stories floating around from States either I guess that's why Spencer kept me a secret from Hannah, but she knows now.

**We belong together**

**Like the open seas and shores**

**Wedded by the planet force**

**We've all been spoken for**

I face outside through the small window that I am sitting at. So many thought running through my mind, before I boarded the plane I had a string of fans bombarding me for my autograph, Kyla told me that I am a big deal back in the States I had my huge sunglasses perched on my head to when I have to get off this plane. I had five concerts in the States, which Kyla had told me Spence and Carmen went to go see me but Carmen didn't know that it was me her current girlfriends wife on the stage, but later she found out that THE ASHLEY DAVIES is the same ASHLEY who left her family behind, Kyla said poor Spence had no idea the raven haired girl will get that mad. Duh, Spence any one would react that way seeing who and what I look like.

Yeah I have seen pics of Carmen, she's a well known artist who I heard were

in some documentary that Spencer filmed and that's how they met.

**What's good is a life, with no one**

**To share,**

**The light of the moon,**

**The honor of a swear.**

Through my thoughts I hear the pilot say we must fasten our seatbelts and all I can do is getting more and more afraid as the plane get nearer and nearer to the soil of my hometown. To my heart, to past and hopefully soon future.

As the plane finally lowers down to the ramp, and finally comes to a dead end and we are told we are now in L.A.X airport I was panicking. I don't know what is waiting for me once I get off this plane.

But all I know is that whatever comes I will face it with maturity because I am no longer that scared Ashley who left three years ago. I am the Ashley who's going to fight for her family. The one who gets to sing lullaby's to her daughter and play with her in the park. Go to PTA meetings, and the one who gets to hold Spencer in her arms. I want that life.

**We can try to live the way in**

**Which you speak,**

**Taste the milk of your mother**

**Earths love,**

**Spread the words of **

**Consciences you see,**

**We are everything we need.**

As I am getting of the plane and going through the tunnel to get my luggage with my sunglasses perched on my head still. Looking around to see if theirs anyone here to come get me. Ky said she and Aiden will get me at luggage collection, but they both not here I get my luggage and as I am scanning the airport all around me I see love ones running towards each other as they hold on tight. I miss that, I never had that.

Where is Kyla. I try to get my blackberry out my bag, but before I look down I look right ahead and see a familiar face. I blink my eyes twice thinking I am seeing things.

But as the crowd around me clear I see the person clearer this time , searching for someone as well, and finally we lock eyes. Brown met Blue, the clearest blue I have dreamt off so many nights in my stooper.

She comes closer and I stood still not knowing what's happening around me, because my eyes are on the person moving towards me. She so beautiful, her shiny wavy blonde hair is shorter then I remembered. Normally I would imagine her with her long golden locks. She' s smiling that's a good sign.

Until she is standing in front of me. And I can't move. Say something you ass. But before I could say anything she moves her mouth and I can only hear one syllable.

"Ash."

"Spencer."

**Spencer's POV**

On my way from picking Hannah up from Day-care I hear my cell phone ringing and check the caller I.D.

"Hello." I say while looking through the rear view mirror at my little girl singing along to Barney and Friends. This is a ritual every afternoon she wants to listen to her dinosaur friend.

"Hey Spence I need to ask you a huge favour. My mom is arriving in less then an hour at L.A.X airport. I would ask Aiden but his busy as well. Do you maybe think you could get her for me." I hear her take a deep breathe as she's waiting on my answer.

"I was going to my mom, but I can go pick her up. What does she look like. Okay scratch that she looks like you just her hair is darker." I keep my eyes on the next turn off for the airport.

"Yeah. Thank you Spencer you won't know how grateful I am to you right now.

Just take her straight to the loft." I nod my head like she can actually see I am nodding my head.

"Yes. You've done last minute babysitting for me too."

"Cause I will never say no to you are spending time with my niece."

We say our goodbyes as she tells me that she will see me later tonight.

I tell Hannah that we first picking up Kyla's mother and she asked me if that is her other grandmother, I tell her no. Christine disappeared right after they read out the will of Raife Davies. I wonder where she even is, maybe she's dead. Well I don't care she were never a mother to Ashley, she treated her daughter like she was a disease.

I finally pull into the road that leads up to the airport and get a parking space. I shut the car and open my door before taking Hannah out her car seat.

I remember that Kyla's mother's name is Anne. Yeah Anne.

We walked through the huge sliding doors waiting at departure for an older version of Kyla, but as I am scanning I see this brunette looking all around trying to take something out her bag. Just when I want to turn my head I see her. I will never forget those eyes, it's burned in my subconscious. She looks straight at me, I grab Hannah's

hand, moving forward as both us aren't losing eye contact their in my line of view I see those chocolate brown eyes looking into my Blue eyes. I held Hannah's hand tighter not wanting to lose her in this crowd, as we get nearer and nearer I see the shock in her eyes.

**We belong together**

**Like the open seas and shores**

**Wedded by the planet force**

**We've all been spoken for**

**All this indecision**

**All this independent strength **

**Still**

Until I am standing a few feet away from her. She's still as gorgeous as the day I first laid eyes on her so many years ago.

"Ash." I say her name so soft as if it's a dream.

"Spencer." She says back in a whisper. Then it hit me, the person I am suppose to have met is not Kyla's mother but Ashley. That sneaky girl. I am so going to get her for doing this to me . her way of letting us meet.

"Hi." She says

"Hey." I reply back.

"So Kyla planned this didn't she." She tells me. I just nod my head until I feel small arms clutching to my legs. I look down and then up to her as she follows my eyes to the small blonde holding to my leg.

I can see the spark in her eyes as she blinks once and then ask.

"Is this…" I nod my head.

She bends down to the small blonde and Hannah had this longing look in her eyes the exact look Ashley has.

She looks up to me as if to ask if it's okay to introduce herself. Before I could say anything Hannah said.

"You are my momma." Her blue eyes looks up to me as I nod yes.

And then I see tears falling from the brown eyes I have been longing for. I see Ash taking Hannah in her arms and Hannah throws both small arms around her neck.

"Yes. Yes baby , I am your momma." She cried out.

My own tears starts to fall as I can see that Ashley has lived a life with regrets but deep down I know she never regretted having Hannah.

She picks Hannah up and looks over to me.

"I know that what I did to both you were so wrong on so many levels but know this their were never a time that I didn't think of you two. I was just stupid. I wish that could go back and change that but I can't."

We are both crying and I can see people are staring.

"I know. You came back."

"None of it mattered without you. I made a lot of mistakes, Spence." Hearing her calling me Spence made me all tingly inside. I could feel and see it in her eyes that she still loves me. I have missed her voice and hearing her husky voice always soothes me. " Spence, there wasn't a moment when I was away that my heart wasn't with you in L.A."

"I know that music is a huge part of who you are."

"I should have asked you to come with me, both of you."

"I was proud of you, we both were. I was hurt Ashley but I still was proud of your accomplishments. Everyday." Silent tears fall from my eyes as she moves forward still holding our little girl in her arms.

"Come here." She says. I moved in her space as I finally feel her arm around me and we stood their with Hannah between us embracing this moment. A moment that we have been waiting for so long. The moment I have both been dreading and waiting for.

"Lets go home Ash." She stares at me as asking what you doing.

"To the loft as your sister told me." She wipes the tears from my face and I do the same to her and finally Hannah lifts her head from off Ashley's shoulder looking at me.

"Mommy."

"Yeah."

"So can we go too the zoo again." I laugh at my little girl as she looks at Ashley to say something.

"Yeah. I would like to go." She tells Hannah.

Hannah smiles back and put her head back on Ashley's shoulder.

"She's beautiful Spencer, just like her mother. I can't believe I am carrying my daughter. It's so surreal."

We walked out of the airport me pushing her luggage to the car. We finally get to my car as she's putting Hannah in her car seat and get into the passenger side.

"I am home."

**We've got our hearts on safe**

**We've got our hearts on safe**

**Someday when you're lonely,**

**Sometime after all this bliss,**

**Somewhere lost in emptiness,**

I switch on the radio and WE BELONG TOGETHER, of Gavin De Graw play in the back ground. This feels right.

**I hope that you find this gift…**

**I hope that you find this gift…**

**I hope that you find this gift.**

**The song We Belong Together by Gavin De Graw.**

**Next chapter will be the final.**

**Thanks for all the reviews.**

**For my first fan fic it's been great how you guys loved this story.**


	8. Chapter 8

**I own nothing…but this storyline**

**Chapter 6 : Epilogue**

**Ashley's POV**

Four Years Later

If I look back four years ago when I wrote Spencer that letter I didn't know that my life could change so much in a few years.

I have got my dream girl and my dream family, with my sister and her husband and twins. Yeah Kyla and Aiden had twins. Names are Jamie and Joshua. They the sweetest two year olds you can imagine, but enough about the Dennison's.

Well let's talk about myself. I am Ashley Davies and recently I started my own record label called BLUE ROOM Blue, my perfect wife has bought me the building to start my own business and to tell you the truth I never thought she would ever give me a second chance. But after she picked me up at the airport and since then we have reconnected, a year after that I asked her to be my wife again. We got married on the beach near our beach house. It felt like I was alive again. I am so very much in love with her, she's my world. As for my sweet little girl Hannah who is six years old.

You will never imagine how quick we became close. I was afraid she might not accept me that soon but the moment we met, we couldn't get enough of each other. One thing I realise just like her mother she can ask a lot of questions about where I have been and why did I leave her. She's a smarty pants that one. But I love her so much.

We will soon have a new member to the Davies clan. No it's not Kyla or Spencer but well it's going to be her kid too. Yeah I am six months pregnant. It's a boy we already got a name for him, Arthur Carlin- Davies.

I told Spencer I want another child with her and no I am not running away this time I said all those years ago that my heart is with Spencer and our family.

I love her so much. Gosh I can't say that enough. As long as I am alive I will go on saying that I love my wife. The love of my life. The mother of my kids. My soul mate.

_Is it a possibility to love someone so much that the thought of it_

_They make your heart ache._

_If love isn't overrated_

_If it's something worth fighting for,_

_Something worth believing_

_If it could cure you from any illnesses are inspire you to _

_Something great, _

_Something so intangible_

_That you or I don't ever understand it_

_But the feeling of it could ever make you feel that no harm could ever come _

_Between you are that person,_

_Makes me want to seek such a kind of love._

_That is everlasting and unconditional, eternity._

_I believe that's how you feel when you meet your soul-mate_

_Someone that completes you,_

_Your perfect match._

_Not consumed by malice ness or jealousy,_

_But something so pure that the goodness of it_

_Makes your heart skip a beat_

_Every time you in the presence of that person._

_The fact that the feeling of it your heart_

_Just want to jump out of your chest,_

_You could feel it in the bars of a song_

_The words of children_

_And in the heart of the person who loves you_

_Without any doubts are fears _

_But pureness and gentleness_

_And kindness_

_That's how it feels like _

_To love you my DEAREST SPENCER._

_THE END_

**Well that's it guys. Hope you liked the ending the poem is well written by myself I made it as Ash writing it to Spencer calling it DEAREST SPENCER.**


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